Self Loathing

So this is what it has come down to. Sitting in the middle of the day, surrounded by people I don’t care about and spewing out a diatribe about how everything now is so pointless. We, the evolved humans of the 21^st century are lost. We are looking for meaning and direction in all the wrong places. Actually let me re-phrase it. We should stop looking for meaning and direction altogether, at any place. There is no meaning, there is no direction. Even though I don’t know what it was like, I believe we have missed the train to that destination ever since we left the simpler decades. It’s not our fault. We were just plain unlucky to have been born in the wrong time. Why, you ask? Everything was so much better back then. The music, the alcohol, the drugs even the women. It is all so much artificial now. We listen to pseudo-music, drink pseudo-alcohol, consume pseudo-drugs and date pseudo-women. They are all too perfectly aligned with our ideas of what good music, alcohol and music should be like. They are so perfect that they give away the fact that they are fabrications. I don’t want perfection. I don’t want heaven. I want more of the same. The same feeling that I get when I smell the woman I love, with all her imperfections. The same feeling that I get when I listen to a rock ballad in the middle of a quiet night with a glass of cheap whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Instead, now I am being judged and asked to judge others based on criteria that the internet has decided. The internet which was supposed to emancipate us has instead made us slaves to the views and ideas of a collective entity and we are supposed to conform to those, or else, we are labeled. We communicate with each other in pseudo-English and are slowly but surely tweeting and updating our Facebook statuses to death. And the worst part is that I am out there doing the same. I too am out there, conforming. Hence, the self loathing.